I haven’t been “home” (California home) for three years.
You know what that’s like in Texas years?
Like 10 years!
Being away from California for 3 years here in Texas is like being away for 10. So much can change, and so much does! Not to mention that I am terrible at correspondence with my family and friends in California – so not only is the terrain around me justly changing, but so are the people housed in it. Change – everywhere.
I grew up in a small town in California called Yucaipa.
I now call it Yucrappa.
It’s just that crappy.
So going back to Yucrappa is nothing short of a shitty experience. No. Matter. What. – Yucrappa is crappy.
But on this joyous occasion of going back to see family and friends, we really didn’t have to spend too much time in Yucaipa exploring it’s wonderful craptastic capabilities. We just stayed out of the way. Which is such a Texas thing to do. Don’t like it? Well then stay the hell out of the way.
But you know when your Mom lives in the heart of Yucrappa, it’s hard to stay out of the way. I remember constantly thinking….please God, oh please God….don’t let me run into anyone from high school. I could die if that happened! (Thankfully it never happened – Score!).
So anyway, back to my mom.
We get to my mom’s house late at night and the first thing I want to do is just go to bed. So we do….no harm done….I put on my cute little pink tank top pajamas and flannel bottoms just like I would in Texas and crawl into bed with my Husband and say hello to dream world.
What happened next may not be that big to others, but to me – it’s just a typical reason why I hate going back to Yucrappa.
I woke up freezing my tits off. literally my boobs may have just fallen right off on the floor for the dog to pick up later and use a chew toy. Tits OFF! My mom forgets that here in Texas the temperature usually is pretty constant, and if it’s going to cool down at night, it’s never going to get below 50 or 60 in the winter…usually (not counting this week of snowy bliss). But in California, the minute the sun goes down behind the horizon….FROZEN TUNDRA!!!!!!!!
How could I forget!?
So I wake up with my nipples at full attention, asking me what the hell we are going to do about this situation. And me, being ever so tired, decided to get out of bed and turn the freaking heat on. But upon trying to get out of bed, my frozen legs gave out on me, and I toppled out of the bed, hit the sliding mirror closet doors with my head, and knocked myself clear cold out. And fast asleep I stayed there, cold as an ice cube, until morning.
HOLY MR. FREEZE! – right?
This is the culprit of freezeology, my mom’s house, the house I grew up in:
Don’t be fooled by the sunshine you see. Don’t you dare be fooled.
That morning I told my mom that she’ll have to put the heat on while we’re there or she’ll surely have a dead daughter come next Sunday!
Now the rest of the day was actually quite pleasant. I made pancakes for my brother, Jonathan and I, and my mom made a quiche that nobody wanted to eat. Those are the things my mom does….she goes out of her way to make something…but unfortunately no body wanted. I love quiche, but honestly I wanted some good old fashioned pancakes that morning in the house of freeze.
So then after breakfast my mom and I started making stuff for Thursday’s Thanksgiving dinner, like homemade cranberry sauce, and pies. I did the sauce, mom did the pies. And that was nice! We actually had a great time cooking that morning. Then it was finally lunch time, and I had to get a sub sandwich from one of my favorite sub places in Yucrappa. It’s a turkey avocado and bacon sandwich from Subs of USA. TO DIE FOR!
So all in all the day with mom was great!
…Cousin dinner up next…
